Thursday, June 12, 2008

eclipse

Beneath the scorching sun she stood persistently,
Pearly sweat dripping down her forehead,
It died as it disappeared into the soil sporadically.

Wearing a red top with polka dots and white shorts;
She stood on the lawn folding her hands,
After she had a small quarrel with mom.

People passing by looked at her in wonder;
Nobody had a clue what she was up to;
A few questioned but no one got an answer.

Her friends interrupted but she didn’t really care,
Some pushed her around yet she wasn’t scared.
She stared into the sun, with her hands stroking her hair.

The face-off between the lil angel and the sun,
Went on till evening, starting from mid noon.
She’d even skipped lunch, still she didn’t complain.

Just then came her neighbour Carey, her little best friend.
Looking at her, he giggled and said
”Don’t do that Gwen, you’ll turn dark. Just the way I am”.

Hearing this Gwen glowed with happiness and ran to him.
” How I wish it happens Carey. That’s why I’m standing here all set to tan.
At least then, mom won’t mind your company cos we both will look the same.”

20 comments:

Dipa Uchil said...

Its beautiful charlie :)
And the last lines it says so much...loved it...
Keep scribblin alway :)

Amber Light said...

So absolutely cute! Lovely! Now I hav a huge smile that will last for the rest of the day. Thank you!

smriti said...

gooood one :)

u echo sm gr88 poet in d concludin lines...tho i don't remember d name nw....selective amnesia u see :P

Priyanka Khot said...

Really nice!

The idea and the thought are both commendable.

sunita said...

a different write.........beyond ur usual style..........but wonderfully depicted........

rukhiya said...

woohoo, loverly lovely, gives that pull at the heart! :)

sweety said...

wow scribbler you scribbled a master piece this time..:)im never tired of telling how good u are .. if theres a superlative for 'best' then ur work is that..:)

shruthi said...

awww... how cute!! :) innocence throughout the poem... but a strong message at the end!! i wonder how u even come with such wonderful ideas :) :)

keep writing:)

mephilosophicalwits said...

Dt ws so realistic.......ppl tend to forget d essence of being a human being, is it so difficult to get rid of d shallow mindset? as usual, touched. thk u for sharing.

Nandhini said...

OMG!
Maestro u have any clue how powerful this is???

*BOWS*

Madhuri said...

Very strong feelings expressed in such simple language. An amazing read. The story behind is very sensitive. You creativity knows no boundations man...
Hats off to you !!

d SINNER!!! said...

wow...wow...wow...


such a gud message...hats off to u...amazing...

this is one sinners recommendation tab...hope u dnt mind..

Samyuktha P.C. said...

An amazing poem. A really nice story. Just practice your grammar a bit. You are writer with good ideas.

Love
Samyuktha

Anonymous said...

aww the sweet minds of children....captured very well.

loved it.

M

Anonymous said...

aww the sweet minds of children....captured very well.

loved it.

M

Joel said...

Nice and amazing poem.. Keep them coming in.. ;)

Winnie the poohi said...

wow!

A.C you keep surprising me :)

Muse said...

Awww...How sweet!The characters you create are so lovable:):):) A repetition:I like this one very much-the story, the style of narration, the characters, and the message.How well you drive home a powerful message!Amazed,really:):):):)

Prakhar said...

Beautifully crafted!

nemo said...

AMAZING, scribbler! I love the way your mind works...
You form the most apt incidents for the perfect situations. Keep it up.

Nemo